#He's a tumblr sexyman alright

[nightthinker-08]

*Taps mic* Yall gotta promise me to be normal about this or Im never drawin em like this again alright? Okay. Anyway hope yall enjoy this twink Pomni

[carlyraejepsans]

in light of the coming sans vs cecil finale, i have to say that there is no bad outcome to this now. you did it. you mad sons of bitches, you did it. we could vote this like a true sexyman showdown or we could vote this for a gag, it doesn't matter anymore. but most importantly, the question that this poll raises is...

WHERE is the undertale/wtnv crossover episode where cecil announces monsterkind's return to the surface right outside of town. because "thousands of weird creatures came out of the nearby people-eating mountain after millennia of imprisonment and are currently settling into town via wacky hijinks" is a VERY night vale thing to happen

(UPDATE: you should check the full post cause i swear to god if y'all mention the goddamn mountains again)

[todayisafridaynight]

Top ten Yakuza characters who could become Tumblr Sexymen

top ten yakuza characters who could be tumblr sexymen

majima.

.

majima.

[euclydya]

what's so funny is it wasn't even Kim forming that got us into DE even though kit formed before we properly got into the game. no. no it was fuckin inland forming of course ajakakdkaksxkskdkdm

[meanbossart]

I appreciate how you write Astarion so, SO much. I feel like way too many fic writers infantilize him to a point where I honestly start wondering if I'm the one who misinterpreted him so badly.

I'd love to know more about what you think of his character and his arc. Personally I saw him and immediately went "oh god this guy is gonna be the irritating tumblr sexyman of the year🙄" and it took me until Araj basically to warm up to him. What were your initial thoughts and did they change much while playing the game?

OH thank you so much!!! That's a shame if it's the case, and a little surprising to me, to be honest! While he's definitely written be an aloof jerk a lot of the time, I always found him to be surprisingly mature and introspective whenever he's not dishing out witty remarks. He comes off to me as the kind of person who learned to benefit from seeming dumber than he actually is, overall.

HAHA I had a VERY similar experience, not just towards Astarion but all the characters, really (I really disliked Shadowheart at the beginning, too). I had only seen pictures of him and pretty much expected a vapid character that was being carried to stardom because of a talented VA - and because people go nuts for anne rice style vampires lol.

While I was definitely enjoying his voice lines from the start (Again kudos to Neil) I definitely wasn't expecting much else. He piqued my interest after so devastatingly turning my character down at the tiefling party without me even having inquired, and that's when I, the gamer, was like "well, alright, I GOTTA fuck this guy now" (this is also where DU drow's personality began to come out as you can probably guess)

Obviously, if you have two neurons to rub together you can gather pretty quickly that he's not trying to woo you because you're so interesting and wonderful, so I started getting curious! With that dynamic being so different from what you usually expect of romances in these types of games, plus the charming way in which he is written, I started being won over.

I think what really did it was how gradually his attitude changed when responding to new, mostly trivial dialogue options and doing his greetings as you earned his trust, and ESPECIALLY with how he responds to your tav when you express any kind of fear or insecurity during his romance - which was with a lot of sincerity and confidence in his resolve to support you, and in you as a person, a complete 180 from his usual front - Which, again, makes me all the more surprised to hear that he's often painted with such an immature brush.

And obviously he has a DEEPLY ugly side to him (if you've read ANE, hopefully it's clear that I know this, and that I like to explore it just as much as anything else lmao) but it's very interesting to me how it seem to always come in the form of outbursts, rather than a constant evil-streak, usually followed by a glimpse of self-awareness. It feels very much in line with someone who's actually making a great deal of effort to manage their RAMPANT emotions and going through a lot of internal conflict in the process.

GAH. Yeah if you can't tell by this friggin' thesis I just wrote, I love the way they wrote this character a lot and I was definitely proven PROFOUNDLY wrong in my first impression of him - which, if that's not irony at it's finest I don't know what is.

And as an aside! I also very much appreciate that he's a "queer" coded character who's effeminate (in the Old Homo kind of way, but I digress) and flamboyant, but taken Dead Fucking Seriously. With as much progress as we've made in LGBT rep in media, I still often feel like gay men will only get that kind of treatment for as long as they "Aren't That Gay" (I know Astarion doesn't have a set sexuality - But lets not mince words: stereotypes exist, and he fits into most of them) and as a thin-wristed gay guy who's a little too found of linen shirts, I can honestly say that experiencing a character like that helped me with my own confidence.

[enderspawn]

honestly in regards w the sexyman poll i was determined to vote based on Actual Sexyman Standing and not any outside bias, thus when i started I was totally prepped to #scarsweep the whole way if need be, but DURING the polling the community reaction has Created joe into a sexyman persona that’s STRONG ENOUGH I genuinely feel alright voting them in the finale.

like I don’t think Joe started this bracket a tumblr sexyman but i think he’s definitely ending one— regardless of if he’s the “ultimate” sexyman or not

[jellieland]

Ok so listen to me. LISTEN to me.

Wilbur Soot. Alright. He's a guy, sure. Perhaps even One of the Guys of All Time. A pathetic little meow meow, if you will.

He blew up a country. He has some sort of weird, love-hate relationship with one of the events in MCC. He likes to play god. He even wore a trench coat and got a white streak in his hair.

But I need you to listen to me when I say this man has NOTHING on Joe Hills when it comes to being a tumblr sexyman.

He called the infinite void of space a mirror that really captured his essence. He built a model of the Evergiven in a canel that actually blocked commerce on the server. He is the man who conquered death.

He had the RANGE.

When half the server was campaigning to be in charge, rather than also running for mayor, he created a problem (dogs everywhere), invented a role that would solve that problem (dog catcher), ran for that role (much to the confusion of almost everyone else), and won. And then had to actually deal with the hundreds of dogs he'd created. Wilbur Soot, DEMONSTRABLY, could never.

If you need any more convincing, I would like you to consider this.

Wilbur Soot and Ozymandias. That's a thing, right? A beautiful legacy fallen to ruin.

Well, you might not have seen it, but inspired by that is a Joe Hills version. And what kingdom is the muse of this one? Some great, terrible empire? Some long forgotten labor of love?

Well. In a sense, I suppose.

This is inspired by a glitch that he found that caused a truly unbelievable amount of tropical fish to non-stop shoot out of a bubble column and then flop around until they died.

It's so stupid. He and Cleo both made hour long "beats/fish noises to relax/study to" videos on it.

And is the most dramatic and serious art inspired by the most absurd and ridiculous things not the very ESSENCE of a tumblr sexyman?

Vote Joe Hills. He didn't make ominous statements in a swimming pool and bribe people for votes on tumblr to NOT win this.

[showtoonzfan]

I saw your tweet about how you wished Mammon “looked the way Viv was describing him” would you at all mind elaborating on how she described him? I’ve been looking and just haven’t found where she talked about it. /gen

It was info from her patreon call so that’s probably why you can’t find it, she had said that he looks “nothing like we think he does” calling him “ugly” and messy and/or gross if I’m correct. The main thing was that she stated to be worried about what fans would think of this guy, so I was like “Ooo alright I’ll bite, I guess he won’t be your standard basic tumblr sexyman”- only for his reveal to be incredibly underwhelming and disappointing. Like what part about him is gross or ugly —-please 😭

[mushroomnoodles]

(Apparently I contacted the wrong person doing a Simon non-Mpreg thing who has lovely art, I have no clue how there's simultaniously three of you, but pretty much this was the ask) H-how was Simon alright after the explosion from Morrigan's birth? It looked massive, and how the devil did Morrigan come out safely?

we are many. we are legion. the tumblr sexyman is in our talons. tw for sfw and nonfetish mpreg as well as a mention of bleeding after birth (non-threatening)

well, first of all, the explosion was more of a pulse of energy! morrigan was very weak after being forced into stasis for three months and drew energy from the forest around them to recuperate enough to be born. think of it like taking a deep breath and exhaling; when you exhale, you give back some of the oxygen you inhaled, but only a small amount. that "oxygen" in this cause is the corrupted energy that led to the area surrounding them being reformed as meat trees. here's a funky diagram.. thingy from a guy who doesn't know what he's doing!

also, i'm not sure if you're asking like.. where morri got out from, but another anon DID, so i have two solutions that i don't really have a preference on.

you can just accept whichever: morrigan mutated simon's body to provide a more traditional exit... or simon is trans. both are good. me, personally, idc either way.

simon had a decent amount of bleeding (especially since morrigan was a big baby) but thanks to his rapid healing he recovered pretty quickly!

[official-crab-posts]

hello and welcome to official crab posts, a blog where i present you with only the crabbiest of posts! you can call me crab or bug.

i have a ko-fi here if you want to fund my crab army! (or help me afford tuition)

feel free to tag me in posts you think are worthy of becoming official crab posts, certified by me, a random person on the internet.

for pronouns, basically anything goes. i especially like they/them, it/its, and ze/zir, but he/him or she/her are also alright :]

get your very own crab drawing to help palestine!

zionists and antisemites are not welcome here.

please let me know if you want something specific tagged.

i’m pretty busy so i may not post too often but i will try to keep enough crab posts in the queue that you get one a day.

if i dont answer your message or ask i pinky promise im not trying to ignore you im just forgetful :( but i see them and i love them !!!

hall of fame (in chronological order):

origin post

double the crabs

the great crab war

my official tumblr sexyman humansona

now. as i'm sure you know, there are a lot of things that evolve to look like crabs. there are many things we call crabs which are not true crabs. you may be wondering what i, official crab posts, will count as a crab and whether i will be including only true crabs. so.

for the purposes of this blog, if it looks like a crab, walks like a crab, talks like a crab, or has a common name that ends in the word crab, it counts as a crab.

i simply do not have the time or energy to identify every crab i see and double check that they are a true crab. however, this is a CRAB blog. i will not post other crustaceans, although you can definitely show them to me if you think they're cool.

to be extra clear:

fiddler crabs (true crabs) ✅CRAB

hermit crabs (false crabs) ✅CRAB

lobsters ❌NOT A CRAB

[gartenofbanny]

New Hazbin leaks just dropped. It's clips from the show, assumedly. 

https://www.tumblr.com/chaifootsteps/729144368135585792

Alastor is alright..Ed is better tho, but Lucifer's voice is just..

Whatever happened to the demons in Hell being threatening?? Lucifer sounds like Chip Skylark from Fairly Odd Parents and he somehow got startled by Alastor.

Not to mention Lucifer is pretty small. He doesn't look intimidating at all. If anything, he looks like the Tumblr Sexyman version of O'Hare from The Lorax.

I'm not intimidated by him at all, and of course, he's singing. Can't have a Vivziepop product without a damn song.

[simblorbo-bracket]

Simblr Blorbo Sexyman Tournament - Round 1

Susan Wainwright (premade, submitted by @dad-a-base) VS. Nicholas Beasley (@nakasumi-sims)

(polls are presented left -> right unless stated otherwise)

Who deserves the title of Simblr's Sexiest Blorbo more? Remember to vote with your heart!

Additional images and propaganda (if provided) available below!

Susan Wainwright

(propaganda courtesy of @dad-a-base)

I like Susan. Maybe not to the degree that some people do, but I think she's an alright sim. However, I think the sexiest thing she has going for her is her status as a Simsecret/Modthesims fourm icon. I think out of any premade woman who originated in Sumset Valley, she's the best because of her eccentric, ironic fanbase. She's an icon. She's a legend. She IS the moment.

The vice president and co-founder of the Paranormal Club. Already once he's been deemed illegal by tumblr for his glorious pecs (the situation that took 3 months to clear up). Who wouldn't like a handsome buff nerd to sweep them off their feet? He loves hiking, camping, reading, and video games. On the weekends, you can catch him playing soccer and on weekday mornings, you'll find him on his daily run before his workout before classes. Right now, he enjoys his days at university and going on investigations with the Paranormal Club. One day, he hopes to become a park ranger.

Some extra propaganda

[starhaloeklypse]

Alright , The Tumblr Sexyman has arrived. Continuing our series of Undertale characters as humans, we of course have Sans. He is … *so* blue, lmao./pos Had a lot of fun with his hair, here, same with Papyrus. Hope y’all like this silly little man, be looking forward to more human designs in the future. 💕🧡

If you like my artwork and would like to support me and my Undertale comic, feel free to check out my Kofi and I’ll gladly make art in return for any donation requests, of course don’t feel pressured to support if you can’t and I hope you carry on having a good day regardless! 💕🧡

[the-magnusinstitute]

Oh I wouldn’t mind some attention alright 😏😏😏

I’m telling Elias he’s tumblr’s new sexyman and he’s gonna get you.

[heiwa-the-tistic]

“Hey can you guess this character?”

Sure

“Alright, he’s from a Indie Animation”

Alastor from Hazbin Hotel

“No, he’s always smiling and has yellow teeth”

Alastor

“No, he has animal characteristics and even though everyone draws him with a tail, we haven’t seen it canonically”

So it’s Alastor

“No! In the first weeks the animation aired he turned into a Tumblr Sexyman”

A-L-A-S-T-O-R

“No, people shipped him with the main character in the beginning, but now they shipp him with another character”

So it’s Alastor from Hazbin Hotel

“No, he’s canonically Aroace!”

Literally Alastor, there’s no way you’re talking about someone elese

“No, people like his sarcastic demeanor even though he’s an asshole to a lot of the characters, and fans are sure he has more knowledge than he lets on”

You are simply describing Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, I don’t think there’s another answer

“No! He’s voiced by Michael Kovach”

Oooooh, That’s Jax! From The Amazing Digital Circus!

[endomentendo]

Okay hi Tumblr Sexyman Jax (not) anon here to explain my thought process. Also, you tagged it with digital wonderland, I should clarify I was talking about the TMA AU. I distinctly remember, in your initial sketches of the AU, a Jax sketch where he was holding a knife, he had a vaguely fluffy jacket(?), full head of hair, sinister smile, lanky fucker, perfect recipe for becoming a tumblr sexyman, yknow? But in the lineup, he's still lanky, but he's less conventionally attractive. Losing hair, that fuckin broken arm (terrifying by the way, Jax please put your arm back in its socket).

Either my memory of the inital design is wrong and I'm insane, or I'm incorrect about the second one and people find him attractive / tumblr sexyman material still, who knows really.

BTW i do love both the designs, they are very cool :)

I wanted to capture a different tactic in designing Tma designs. It’s alright if you want sexy not Sasha or cute distortion, but I want to take it seriously and make them look their fear literally barfed them out of existence.

No sexy slaughter rabbit, you’re getting this ficker lol!